Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Rule #2: Wear Lipstick

Ladies,

Wear lipstick. Just do it. Every day. You look better with it on.
I know you have your excuses, but they're all rubbish.

To help, I have debunked a few common excuses for you:

1. "My man doesn't like it when I wear makeup."

Your man also thinks that your best look is that bright pink spandex shirt and a freakin' mini skirt. They also don't notice if you've chopped your hair off and died it black. The only reason that you think that they don't like lipstick is because you've asked them and they decided to give you the safe answer. Dudes don't know what they're talking about. So, sorry, not a good excuse.

2. "My man doesn't like to kiss sticky lips."

Lucky you that you kiss your man so much during the day that the thought of wiping off and reapplying your lipstick is just too much. Gibberish.

3. "I don't want to look too made-up. "

For this excuse, I will refer to one of my girl crushes:

BABY'S DAY OUT photo | Gwen Stefani

Granted, it's Gwen, but look at her. Baby in hand, casually dressed, and bam! Red lips. But yet, it works, because it just looks so good. It will do the same for you. Really.

3. "I don't have the time to put on make up."

Whatever. Not possible. When your lips are chapped, do you have time to put on chapstick?

4. "I don't like make up."

No, you do. What you mean is, 1) You don't like the way foundation feels on your face, or 2) You don't know how to put makeup on correctly. That's another post. Either way, I'm just talking about lipstick.

Look, I'm doing you a favor. If you don't believe me, try the following exercise:

Get your best sweatpants/nasty hair look going on (best to try at end of day). Take a good look at yourself in the mirror or take a picture. Then, go and put on the darkest lip color you have or that shiny lipgloss that you save for going out. Now, go look in the mirror or take another picture.

Voila! Wow! Go Gwen! All I can do is look at your sexy lips! I didn't know your face was so thin!

Girls, just wear lipstick.

8 comments:

Becky said...

OMG, I love it. OKAY ALREADY, you convinced me!

Amy said...

This is why I have lip gloss in every bag I carry around. You never know when you will need an extra shot of glossiness. Mac's "Oh Baby" is my fave--looks good on all flesh.

And because of that, I am the best lookin' mom at preschool drop off. Sha-pap!

Camp Papa said...

At long last the world with have the guidance it's needed. I really do believe that most people would do right most of the time, if they could just see the right. Now the have you!

Stephanie said...

Ha Ha..Too true. Hope you don't mind if I add you!

melondonkey said...

So gloss is okay? I mean, I prefer gloss.

stephanie said...

You are so intimidating yet friendly, brutal yet practical. I feel compelled to try lipstick tomorrow...

I can just pretend that I look like Gwen all day, right?

Wendy said...

No matter how much lipstick I put on I will never look like Gwen.

Star said...

Found this fun post thanks to Becky's recent Suburban Matron post. Good (fun) advice!