Rule #4: Throw a Tea Party

Host a tea party for goodness sake.

Why a tea party, you may ask? Well, they are very important. You know what I mean. Everyone acts and feels important at a tea party. It is impossible to attend a tea party and not sit up straight, smile, and be very inquisitive. At a tea party, everyone feels special. Therefore, you should host one once a year.

I must admit that I am a world class tea party hostess. I mean, man, I am good. Over the holidays, my cousins and I decided to host a ladies tea at my grandmother's house. We're talking fine china and smoked salmon sandwiches. It was divinely awesome. Almost all of the women on my mother's side were in attendance. My inspiration for this particular tea party came from a trip to London last spring, where I treated myself to high tea at Fortnum and Mason (next time you find yourself on Picadilly Street, and want to spend your life's fortune on feeling important, go there and have high tea: http://www.fortnumandmason.com/Our-Restaurants/St-James-Restaurant.aspx). This was the inspired menu:

• Two types of cookies, a fruit filled and a chocolate filled (from the store)
• Smoked salmon, cream cheese, and caper sandwiches (cut into little triangles, of course)
• Tomato, mozzarella and basil sandwiches (add a little olive oil and pepper)
• Mini artichoke, parmesan, and basil quiches (just toss these ingredients with egg, bread crumbs, and olive oil then throw it in a muffin pan and bake at 350 for twenty minutes)
• Mozzarella wrapped in prosciutto (so tasty, just cut cubes of mozzarella and wrap it with thin slices of prosciutto, serve with olives, fancy!)
• Fruit tray (I suggest using mango and grapes for sure. Do NOT try a horny melon - may sound fun and exotic, but does not taste fun or exotic)

Just add a pitcher of hot water, a random selection of tea bags, and one additional beverage (we chose cranberry juice because it looked pretty in the light green crystal glasses). The last touch is the decorations, and if you are using nice china like we did, just add lots of candles. Believe it or not, all of this only took two hours to cook and serve. Tada!

Now, because tea parties are so important and everyone acts their best, you should take advantage of this and encourage insightful conversation. Ask thought provoking questions that everyone would love to share about (even if it's just you and your daughter). Here are a few questions that we discussed:

• What fictional character do you most admire?
• What is something you've always wanted to do and haven't gotten the chance to?
• Who was your first kiss?
• Share any interesting fact about yourself in one minute (for this one, I asked everyone to break up into pairs, take turns sharing, then had everyone share their partner's story)

Deliberate conversation starters are so underrated these days. Tea parties are a perfect place to ask great, cut to the chase, questions. I mean, when would you think to ask your aunt to share about her first kiss story? Or, how would you find out that your sister-in-law would have liked to have been a professional cheerleader? My grandmother even shared that she was dating two other men at the time she met my grandfather! Who knew? Very fun.

Some of you may dismiss this rule because you say that you are not good at hosting or do not like hosting. Well to that, I say you just need to become a better person. Little acts of hospitality are essential to being a good person and tea parties are easy and inexpensive. There is something about a tea party that makes a small form of hospitality seem like you've gone above and beyond. Seriously, next time a friend or neighbor stops by, pull out a nice cup, serve hot tea and cookies and watch the two of you become BFFL. Just maybe hold off on the first kiss question until after they've had a couple cups of Earl Gray.

And you dudes out there, I don't want to hear it. Since when do you not like cookies and conversation? If you were to ask any female with a brain to help you host a tea party they would turn a cartwheel and make it happen.